Good bye baby Blanket

We are forever seeking. In fact we refer to ourselves as seekers. Seeking for answers, God, reasons, our purpose, the light, the truth, the one true way. We spend countless hours, years, seeking for the meaning of these seemingly insurmountable mountains. Some say that it is part of the journey. Each individual soul moulding and learning itself into divinity, or at least trying to. We convince ourselves that this must be the purpose. 'I know the truth for I have seen it, heard it, been told, taught, felt'. Perhaps that is so. We have assured ourselves that someone else, whether it be a teacher, preacher, guru, therapist, must have the answers, and for some of us that feels true. In the end, we all know the answers that lie hidden in the chasms of our depths, but we don't want to delve in there. Why? Because it is not what we want the answers to be. Oh yes we are seekers, but we seek for a truth that fits our personal thoughts. Thoughts riddled with conformity. Ideas tainted with the pollution of anothers' rights or wrongs. How many times have you caught yourself saying 'that's the way it has always been', '_______ has said yada yada', 'All the evidence says _______ and so it simply must be'. How many times have you known something didn't feel right, but you went along because you figured there would be no way you could actually make a difference? Or perhaps you feel you don't have the linear knowledge to argue with those whom have studied for decades....studied...yes studied someone else's, some groups' interpretation of how things ought to be because it fits to their view of reality. We seek to find what fits into our field of view, of our makeshift reality so that we can feel we have some control. As a seeker of sorts, if I have learned anything, it is that there is no set rule. Nothing for us to physically grab hold of. And that is scary, because it lends knowledge to how little control we have. What we thought is supporting us in our quests is nothing more than a weak thread ready to snap free from our grasp. It feels like falling, with nothing to grab onto much like sliding off a tin roof. Your just spiralling down, down, down. Ironically enough if you let the fear take hold and embrace it, you find that you are not falling at all. Simply gliding through your method of experiences adding to your own revolution. I like to refer to it as being an infant and finally have the courage to let go of table and take those steps. Frightening and freeing all at the same time. No we don't need to hang onto beliefs, teachers, texts, ideas, or the 'facts'. Your soul legs are more than able to carry you, and when you let it all go the seeking stops. We find ourselves just being. Adding our ingredients to a collective recipe of life. And yes you're a necessary ingredient. Yes you make a difference. Yes it all matters. To what extent? I don't know, but Everything, Everyone has a purpose, even when we are unwilling to see it. Not what you wanted to hear? The truth as we see it rarely is. Perhaps that is only a truth I am wanting to see, but the baby gate is down, the room is big and open. The floor, walls, and ceiling have all faded away and I am letting go of one 'supportive' instrument at a time. No longer seeking for something that will fit into this space, but floating onward in awe. To experience what comes my way and to see the wonder in it all. Good bye baby blanket. One Earth.

Where we all go

There is a place we all go that is beyond the confines of molecules, beyond where thoughts formulate words, far beyond the feeling of feelings. Yes. Here, where our humanity cannot comprehend, yet we know somewhere; somehow. Here where the everything is nothing and nothing is everything. We gather. Where moments are evaporated bubbles on a screen. We commune. Where peace is what is. No thoughts, no emotions, just observers awaiting their turn to congregate amongst the stars like seeds awaiting for the wind to set them onward to a new a start…a new way of being. We all go there. Where silence is all there is. The cosmos are merely reflections of ourselves and we reflect the cosmos. We all go there. To a place that is so familiar it seems strange, but we careen into its bosom none the less. We long for its embrace to rescue us from ourselves. Not too soon Love. Experiences are waiting, needed. Not too soon Love. Mysteries are waiting to mystify, electrify. Not too soon Love. We need to inspire, conspire, light on fire the world within the world. Not too soon Love. We will all go back there….here. Where our ancestors are our descendants and we are all. Shhhhh….You are already here Love. We all are. One Earth. :)

What have you done for your Self lately

When was the last time you did something for yourself? Are you thinking that you have just had a spa day, a night out with the girls, maybe you have a shopping day planned or you are finally getting an extra hour of some much needed sleep? Are you thinking of a time you paid it forward or dished out some good advice for once? Perhaps you feel going to the gym, buying those great shoes or managing the last piece of pie before the kids got to it, is plenty. Whatever the venue they are all great and we need to be free to explore these means that interest us, for they all can be momentarily gratifying. What I am asking is; When was the last time you did something for Your-Self? When was the last time you allowed the anger that rages through your veins bubble forth and scream to heavens until at last it was nothing more than a lonely leaf careening off in the distance? When was the last time you gave your Self permission to wail in frustration and sorrow until the last tethered tear rendered itself free from its prison of perceived control? Have you let your Self, even for a moment, delve into the abyss of hopelessness? Allowed those feelings to summon forth complete and utter helplessness and loneliness until you are nothing more than a trembling mass melded to the coming dark? There is always the other side that we are afraid to let free as well. Why would we let our Self be too happy and contagious for that will only allow us to fall deeper when the shadows peek around to pull us down to reality? Isn’t that what we think we are doing when we try and ‘contain’ our Self? Protecting it, sheltering it so it may not hurt too much, see too much, be disappointed too much. In the end all we have really done is let our Self down. We came in promising our Self the world of experience, however that may turn out, and instead we became a resentful parent trying to catch a moment of solace with a handful of empty promises we are too frightened to keep. Our Self needs, craves those moments of deep experience. Our Self has no concept of social decorum, no agenda for linear rights or wrongs. It is only committed to flowing forth to touch what our physical eyes are unwilling to see and our mortal minds refuse to acknowledge. Our Self is in an undaunting search to release from our containment and simply be. Yet we hold fast to our seemingly protective nature to control and in the end we do our Self the worst kind of indignation. Smothering layers of useless contaminants to silence the roar much like we would a child. Giving into the consumerism that is said to bring happiness instead of summoning up the courage to simply sit and listen …..and do nothing…and just be…..and truly feel the absoluteness of our Self. To know how perfect everything is. Not dark, not light, just being an observer and experiencer under one conscience. So I ask you again, What have you done for your Self lately? One Earth. :)

Love

Love is a gift.
Love is the ultimate gift.
It encompasses and envelops. It brings with it peace and joy, hope and laughter. It brings us the promise of brighter suns. Love, in its infinite magnitude, can also bring us to the depths of our darkest hollows emerging us into our own chasms of fear and despair, heart break and sorrow, anger and frustration.
Love is not only what sets forth our joy, freedom, peace and wonder, it is also what lies behind self loathing, oppression, anger.

Love is the field within the field.

For Love is infinite in all directions.

It will send us to this relentless spiral down to the nothingness. We will grieve and despair. This of course is not the end, for even the ocean never ceases to have waves, nor do the waves hang forever on the shore. They always come home to the embrace of the their creator. Love doesn't so much 'enter' us as it is set forth From us. When we open the gate, when we acknowledge what is ALWAYS present, we allow what has always been there to fly! It enables us to see a place beyond ourselves. And we grieve, and get angry and cry for we know, we now 'see' that life, as we know it, will not be the same.The shallow wants and searches will no longer provide us the same incomplete and unsustainable brief level of masked happiness. Some of us will fight for a foothold somewhere, anywhere. Grasping to the slick walls of memories past and habits and routines that leave us feeling even more like a leaf blowing aimless, bound to the grasp of the wind. As always, the light hidden behind the clouds, will begin to shine. We begin to understand and embrace the freedom. The True Freedom. We become lighter and Love is set forth anew from us. Like a parasol seed of a dandelion, seemingly at the mercy of the summer breeze, we float. We float along with tides of change, peaceful and full of promise. Settling roots only when the Earth has called for us. For Love knows when we are ready and will set forth the wind to settle us in our existing field of peace. Yes the most important element of Love is that which exists within us. Open the door and Love will liberate us from our self induced depths and rejoin and recognize us home.

One Earth.

We are God - Love

This comes up for me time and time again; We are here to experience life in a way that can not be experienced in any other place in time and space. Completely unique and complex. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it is how many have stated before me. For a collective understanding of something we can not yet understand or comprehend in the confines of our present being. I FEEL that God is Love. WE are Love. Therefore; We are God in all glory and mayhem. How can mayhem and discord be Love? Be God? Well how better to see the light but to be immersed in the dark. Everything you can feel, see and imagine, from the smallest unseen to the vast expanse of space is God - Us. Even the most vial of beings is Love - God. We are all Light and Dark and everything in between, it is only the choices we make on which parts we choose to nurture. Everyone has the element of choice. So why would a being so perfectly Love in all aspects choose to live and experience through me, You, Us? Perhaps it is for an understanding, an experience that simply can not come from ONE BEING strolling about trying to sample everything on the buffet, but that can only come from MANY BEINGS being fully immersed in all the dishes tasting, feeling, smelling, hearing, seeing and digesting ALL that each sumptuously deep dish has to offer. Isn't that what we are taught? To fully understand something or someone you need to FULLY open yourself to it. Feel it, taste it, hear it, see it, smell it and even more importantly smell,taste, see, hear and feel everything in between that is hidden from the obvious. So maybe that's what God-Us is doing. Maybe that is the point of all these songs and dances. So WE may experience in our unique way to add to Gods'(our) collective experience.

One Earth. :)

Shoulds, Shoulds, Shoulds

Should. Shouldn't. Why Should we or Shouldn't we? Lately that has come into my visible view alot. Mostly it comes down to 'I Should lose some weight, I Should start working out, I Should start....' and the list goes on and on. But why Should I. Logistically, I suppose to be healthier, firmer, happier. That makes sense, but why Should I? To fit a socially excepted mold? To fit in to a particular group of people? So my husband will be more attracted to me? So I will be more attracted to me? Huh. Well since when did we bend to this notion of Shoulds? And Who says we Should? The fact of the matter is, I am done with Shoulds. I have sat back and watch us do these Shoulds because some 'expert' with a generic model of what our skeletal and genetic model 'Should', in their view, look like and if you don't fit that...well you Should do something about that. How many times have you heard that to be in a spiritual practice, you Should practice..xyz? You need to do this, eat this way, have a job in this field, meditate sitting is this position holding your hands like this? Really I could go on and on, but the reality is in any aspect that we look at from our physical being, emotional being to our spiritual being, someone, or rather a group of someones decided that this is what's what and we have willingly bowed our heads and gone along. Thankfully we are waking up to the absolute insanity of it all. There really is no Shoulds when we awaken. The only Shoulds that exist are the ones we choose to acknowledge. I am not saying don't have a spiritual practice, or eat healthy, or excersise. I am saying find out why you are going to do or are doing these things whatever it is. When I ask myself the question 'Why should I lose weight?' I came up with nothing at it's core. I go to Nia, not because I Should. Not because I Need to do anything. I go because I ENJOY it.I eat fruit and veggies, because I ENJOY it. If I choose to have a Timmies English toffee, well I don't beat myself up about it, because I am drinking one because I am ENJOYING it at that particular moment. If I lose some of my wibblies, great, if I don't that's great too. I am no longer in the hipicritacal cycle of doing things because socially it has been said to be acceptable. By hypicritical I mean I try not to judge those that don't see things and do things the way that my Ego says they Should. In fact I do a few things that in the eyes of medical, environmental, and social 'experts' would seem crazy. I have had people call me an oxymoron.I love nature and physical activity, but I enjoy lazy days too. I disagree with government and taxes, but I work in an accounting firm. The basis is there are no rules on how to be, but be happy. I am Happy with me at my core. I no longer let society tell me what I can and can't wear, eat, do, say, feel, look, work, raise my kids. I do what I enjoy and the only rule that I try to follow is to make sure I am not intentionally hurting anyone and that helps me honour my place in this existence. There really is no right or wrong, good or bad, there is just lessons and moments. Each one of us have our own take on life and no 2 beings are the same. Not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually. So no one thing will ring true for any 2 beings, so why do we ever think we Should do and be what someone is doing or being? The time to embrace our uniqueness is here...for me at any rate. Yes for me happiness, the glass is half full, there is a silver lining with everything is and has been a way of life for me, but accepting my inner me with my outer me is a new adventure in my journey and I LOVE it!!! The moment we are able to align ourselves and free ourselves from all the Shoulds...the freer and lighter we become. One Earth. :)

Teach to be Taught

Lessons. They are everywhere. Usually in the most ordinary of places. Mostly when you think you are doing the teaching. I have 2 wonderful children. And from the start they have continually heightened my creativity, expanded my love and forever are teaching me. They unknowingly are showing me that no matter how young or small the being, they contain an infinite pocket of lessons as does everything....if we are willing to 'see' them. With Mothers day around the corner; a day where we are sent out to show our appreciation for our mothers, our mother figures, for our greatest teachers in life, I will continue with my inner practice of savoring my teachers dressed in childrens' clothing. For every piece of advice and knowledge I give them they present me with many more. They unwittingly gift me with the continual ability to change, adapt, grow, to not just say the words and teach the lessons, but to LIVE them. To be more than just words spilling out into empty space, but to BE the idea, lesson, advice, the learning, the adventure: To BE more than just the pages in a book but to BE the book, contents and all. My blessings reaffirm for me, that to be an effective mum, healer, teacher, Being, we must BE the practice we preach. To BE the space in which we know we are limitless. Yes, I started with the notion that I would be the teacher, and I have graciously grown into the student.

 One Earth. :)

A Night Sky

Night Sky A black sky has come, always present looming just beyond the reaches of sight until ready. Could be said that it is ominous, cold... dark... clinging to the skin much like gum on hot pavement. But..... There it is. A hint... Just enough to make my eyes question it's existence. Each moment revealing a wee bit more. Yes, it's the light. The light whispering of moments gone by. History not to be found anywhere else. Suddenly the realization dawns. I am so small, so intimately a minuscule spec of sand on the beach of life But they also remind me how necessary the specs are. Each one a twinkle of hope, a mesmerizing glance of light on it's way. Each one together producing a picture of life full of magic and light. Collectively bringing an understanding no words will ever convey. Proof that even in a space enmeshed in shadow, there will forever be light. Guiding and constant. Sending a continual stream of love, if only we would choose to feel it. Know it. One Earth. <3