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Stories are weaved into everything that we do. They have ways of molding and shaping us, even defining us. These past events, whether we look at them as positive or negative, can either lift us up or tear us down. We can embrace them as lessons and learn from them, or we can cry them into the abyss of victimization and remain blind to all else.
Everyone has a pivotal story or stories, that have help shape them, or so I thought.
Diving deep into self discovery and growth, I found myself questioning my beliefs and feelings on this.
Why do I fear success?
Why do I fear being noticed for anything?
Why do I feel I am too much?
I knew the story that brought me here, to some degree, but really questioning it led me someplace I was not fully expecting. In this time of really beginning to let my true self come forth I realized a couple of things. One being the events that created the story that kept me small. I then stumbled upon the view point of the mind that created the feelings that gave the stories power.
What!?
'The view point of the mind that created the feelings that gave the stories power'.
All this time I had known the stories, the list of events. Boy did I ever know them! What I had failed to correlate was the perception behind them.
You see it is not the events that cause us discomfort or thrill, it is our perception of those events!
As a nine year old how I perceived, or processed the events determined the story, the feelings, the messages. As I grew older the way I would look at things would change, grow and develop as I did, but the 'original' play would remain untouched. Many aspects of my life would unwittingly center around this one piece of time.
Each one of us is gifted with our own unique way of looking at things. We think that it is the stories of our past that creates our vision, but I feel that is not necessarily so.
We come in with our own personalities in this life. These inherent gifts brought forth from lifetimes prior to this one. We see that in our children. It is already encoded, our unique gifts.
For me, it is joy. Always I could see, or it was shown, the lessons, rainbows and gifts each moment could bestow. This was something I allowed to grow as I grew. As a child, though I had my own innate self, I was discovering what would make me tick and how to move with or against it. Nurture or squash it. In actuality I am still learning!
In this state of development I had acquired a very limited view of how to deal with events. As all children are, I was simply a sponge collecting information from outside sources and view points. And I drew my own infant conclusions and went with it.
Now, bestowed with this in my hat, I am able to revisit. Though I have been able to do that without contempt for many years, I can now see how my perception at that time protected and helped me.
Perceptions and view points can be changed and expanded at any given moment. It is a choice. In an effort to grow and become more open, I have done it time and time again. Thoughts from yesterday have changed today when given another piece of information or angle in which to look. Going back though memory allows me to also make a tiny shift in perception and now alter the steps I will make tomorrow. The events don't change, my history doesn't change. How I move forward changes. Another angle sprouts forth and old limiting beliefs diminish expanding my view even more. Energy spent on keeping me reeled in, bursts forth in abundant freedom.
Maybe it is only the view of the eternal Optimist but, once again, my heart, my soul, breathes that much freer in a world continually trying to contain, maintain and define our essence.
One Earth.
