Posts
Every now and then I feel stuck. Caught in a whirlpool of inner work where the answers I seek simply seem to elude me. I am stubborn and will often try and work it out on my own, but like with anything, no one does this life alone!
Thankfully I have been blessed with a whole tribe of gifted beings ready to show me what I need when I need it! Though I feel everyone is a teacher, there are always those that are willing to push my standardized view of myself.
I was recently blessed with a lovely healing session with one of these masters of magic! And as I expected, a truth I simply didn't want to see, surfaced.
That's what Energy work does. It brings forth your own shadows so you may work your way beyond, or transcend them. It's bloody scary. I'm not going to lie. To stand on the edge and willingly look at all your own crap, to know that this life, with all it's trials and tribulations, is of your own doing and there is truly no one else to blame....Well that can break a person. Now, whether you choose to be broken or broken open is up to you.
I'll be broken open thank you!
Here's the deal. I Drive My Vessel. Though my legs shake and I am forced to see things within myself that I would rather not see, I am given choice. Choice to hide my head in the sand, continue to place blame or step up to the challenge that I signed up for and hold the hand of Fear. I Drive My Vessel.
You see with every uncomfortable truth there is also opportunity. Opportunity to show myself the love and compassion I willingly give to everyone else.
I often have said, 'How can I expect someone to love and respect me, if I don't love and respect myself.' And with every speck of wisdom comes a lesson, that I too must, learn.
And here I am. Face to face with piece of myself I had not expected to find. Such a deep truth that I really didn't know what to think or feel. Of course the first feeling to arise was disbelief. That shameful piece of me wanted to scream 'bullshit!'. Next stormed in anger, shame, and self loathing. Berating myself, because I should have seen this sooner. How could I have been so blind? Well here's confirmation that I am really not good at anything....Blah blah blah...
Sigh, sniff and tears...
In comes the next wave of introspection.....
'Ah, but you created this. This was your own device for remaining small and hidden. This was your way to keep yourself from shining. If you don't shine, you can't fade.'
Okay... I get it. Now what do I do with it?
I wrap myself in self love. The kind of unconditional love you would show your own child. Held close to my own bosom, my own deep soul, I simply allow myself to love myself. For in this moment, for right now, that is all I need to do. The rest will come later, but for right now, Love.
It is my belief that we are here to experience life in all it's wonderful facets. If I knew it all, what would be the point! I also believe in accountability, even the tough stuff.
So I choose to see this as a chance to grow. To take this gem and revel in all the lessons it holds. To discover how to transcend and rise. To view with honor and love for this unique way of living. Knowing that I chose this life with these lessons is incredibly empowering. I am here to Live and living does not mean perfection. Living is Loving.
Love I will. In that Love I will know that Fear is but an abundant teacher whose hand I'll hold and whose lessons I'll accept with gratitude.
One Earth.
