At Last

Mmmm…how I love the look of that heavy frost that comes along and blankets everything in a shimmer of white. To me it literally speaks magic! Magic is what my drive was the other week. Between the bit of fog, heavy frost and the light snow falling then snaking across the highway it was as if time literally stood still. Here I was seemingly alone on a 2 lane highway with virtually no traffic, encased in varying shades of white, and like a little whisper my past year came into focus.
 I love when that happens!!

Now I was going to go about this in the roundabout way I usually do. Where it may be inspiring but it would allow me not to reveal to much of myself…..however this time it has to be open…so here goes!!

Last December we were blessed with a Blue Moon and everyone was telling me what a good omen that was but, at the time I didn’t really see it that way.
I spent the first 5 months being ridiculed and tossed under a bus by an apparent ‘friend’. I literally rang in the new year separating from my husband….not great.
Over the summer I just did. I ran from this to that just doing and experiencing. Get this done, check this out, be here, go there, be this for this person and that for that one. (don’t get me wrong I had fun!) I spent the entire summer trying to find this new groove.
The last 3 months I have spent sleeping. I have literally been going to bed earlier and on the occasional sleep in days I am actually sleeping in. I have been mentally and emotionally spent.  I have been fighting cold after cold, had a Hepatitis A scare, and have even caught the flu….I don’t get the flu!!
But that was okay because my famous line has always been “I am always Okay”.

Okay so where is this good omen they were all talking about?

Well where to start! Hubby and I rekindled a friendship we thought we’d lost and gained a new perspective of each other and through that,  the home we had imagined for the last 10 years is taking shape before our eyes.
The loss of a 12 year friendship made room for some real friends to step out of the shadows and show me how friends should be and that I don’t have to DO anything! I have gained a personal freedom that I had only dreamed of.
I realized though I am not a “perfect” mom (whatever that is) I am exactly what my kids need, they are what I need, and we grow together!
The 3 months of sleeping was actually 3 months of processing. Bears do that hibernation thing! Every time I turned around the Universe was showing me that! Darn near every event I wanted to attend it so happened I had prior engagements and commitments! There was that constant “you want to go…but not just yet”.  Once I saw that and quit trying to figure out what the heck was going on…Snap there it was! Sometimes I am so gorgeous I can’t stand it!LOL

I realized that I DO need confirmation that I know what I know, I DO need confirmation that I am ready, and I DO need confirmation that I can. That confirmation had to and has to come from me. It was my lack of believing in myself that led to my NOT being READY, WILLING, and ABLE.
And yes the realization that sometimes I do need some help and that is okay. I needed to be able to receive, as well as, I am able to give…..

So now after experiencing the coming together of the Lunar eclipse with a full moon and Winter solstice I am not fearful of the abundance that is coming my way, OUR way. Why?
Quite simply…Faith

Faith in knowing WE are not alone
Faith in knowing WE can trust what comes
Faith in knowing that WE are no longer just OKAY

So to you, to all of us, I thank you.
I thank you for the experiences that have been and will be.
I thank you for the love that has always come.
Most of all I thank you for allowing me to share.
Where ever you may be-come the new year…..we will in some way be-come together…

WE ARE ONE
WE ARE ALL KNOWING
WE ARE ABSOLUTELY, UNEQUIVOCALLY, POSITIVELY RADIANT!!

As always..
with love and gratitude
Ruby