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Saturday, April 11, 2020
Joyous Me
Uncovering your inner compass is truly a gift. We all have an inner compass. For some, it's Love, for others it's Compassion, or Unity, even Peace. Mine is Joy. I can find the Joy in pretty much anything. From celebration to heartbreak, anger, and especially the unknown. I Love Life and all it has to offer. Though I don't run through life with rose colored glasses, I am often seen as such. I am in a world where I have been battered into believing that seriousness equates intelligence, wisdom, empathy and compassion. If I am not succumbing to the ravages of fear, sorrow, judgement, anger and conformity, then there must be something missing or even wrong with me. I have been told I am too rebellious, unfeeling, even cold hearted. I lack compassion, reason and sensibility. I have been told I am in denial and unaware of the importance or significance of things. Seen as naive and blind, I am seen as merely comic relief for the uncertainty of everyday life, because I am obviously in an optimistic shadow of bliss. In all fairness, I let people believe what they want. Though I outwardly will shrug it off, it has played on my subconscious to the point, that I too, have thought there is something wrong with me.
As a child I was raised to respect my elders, my peers, those who were essentially more educated. Do as you are told, do what is expected by the fore mentioned educated elders and peers, conform and know that they will always know more, and anonymity will lend a peaceful life. Even within the spiritual community there is always the push for following and conformity. You are told to follow your heart, but what people want is for you to fall within the constructs of whichever healing art or teachings you have chosen.
So, I should ignore the self to adhere to some proposed idea of right for my self? How the heck is that a peaceful existence?
When your inner compass is Joy, and you have a propensity for logic and intellect, an incredibly loud soul, genuinely curious, and have an intuitive insight that challenges the norm, following doesn't lend well. Trying to succumb to those beliefs has been like stuffing myself into a pair of pleather pants, 2 sizes too small. It's a ton of work, a lot of powdering and in the end the seams will give out with an angry sound of release!LOL Let's just say I tried, but I ended up with more welts and chaffing than Joy!
To see life with Joy, for me, means having gratitude for the infinite possibilities that life has to offer. To see, that though life may not seem fair, there is always a balance. Even amidst chaos and tragedy there is a beauty that lies there, and always there will be a light that will shine and rise to the occasion. It is both frustrating and liberating to be able to see beyond and around the single snowflake that alights upon my hand or the flurry of snow hiding my view of the outside. An observer and contemplative by nature, I see, hear, and feel what most do not take the time or effort to. Contrary to the logical way I will often come across as, I am incredibly empathic, but I have learned that empathy doesn't equate becoming an emotional sponge. I have chosen to radiate my inner compass instead. At the same time I am able to feel what I need to feel for connection. It's probably why I don't see empathy as a curse but rather a gift. It never ceases to amaze me when I am able to meet someone beyond the cloaks that they wear.
So why is any of this important? Again people see what they want to see, and their opinion of me is none of my business. More often than not, I willingly conform to the general consensus and play the role of jester and cold logic. I guess maybe, that there is a part of me that hasn't yet fully accepted my own broader views. I am still a physical being and there is a small part of me that yearns for validity and connection. I suppose the connection I seek is one philosophical in nature. By that I mean to have someone to have and understand those conversations of wonder. Longing to connect with someone that too, sees more than the view of one's own senses. For someone to meet me where I am at. Though the keyboard and screen offers some reprieve and release, I willingly admit that the expanse of my mind and intuitive processes can be a lonely place. If not for the knowing of my compass, my center, I'd likely have relinquished my self to darker chasms. So, Joy, it would seem, will keep me curious with wonder and compassion. Joy to continually rediscover and redefine my Self. Joy in knowing that somewhere someone may feel the same way, and loneliness is only a construct of my own limitations. Limitations that I, as a creator, can easily dispel.
As a child I was raised to respect my elders, my peers, those who were essentially more educated. Do as you are told, do what is expected by the fore mentioned educated elders and peers, conform and know that they will always know more, and anonymity will lend a peaceful life. Even within the spiritual community there is always the push for following and conformity. You are told to follow your heart, but what people want is for you to fall within the constructs of whichever healing art or teachings you have chosen.
So, I should ignore the self to adhere to some proposed idea of right for my self? How the heck is that a peaceful existence?
When your inner compass is Joy, and you have a propensity for logic and intellect, an incredibly loud soul, genuinely curious, and have an intuitive insight that challenges the norm, following doesn't lend well. Trying to succumb to those beliefs has been like stuffing myself into a pair of pleather pants, 2 sizes too small. It's a ton of work, a lot of powdering and in the end the seams will give out with an angry sound of release!LOL Let's just say I tried, but I ended up with more welts and chaffing than Joy!
To see life with Joy, for me, means having gratitude for the infinite possibilities that life has to offer. To see, that though life may not seem fair, there is always a balance. Even amidst chaos and tragedy there is a beauty that lies there, and always there will be a light that will shine and rise to the occasion. It is both frustrating and liberating to be able to see beyond and around the single snowflake that alights upon my hand or the flurry of snow hiding my view of the outside. An observer and contemplative by nature, I see, hear, and feel what most do not take the time or effort to. Contrary to the logical way I will often come across as, I am incredibly empathic, but I have learned that empathy doesn't equate becoming an emotional sponge. I have chosen to radiate my inner compass instead. At the same time I am able to feel what I need to feel for connection. It's probably why I don't see empathy as a curse but rather a gift. It never ceases to amaze me when I am able to meet someone beyond the cloaks that they wear.
So why is any of this important? Again people see what they want to see, and their opinion of me is none of my business. More often than not, I willingly conform to the general consensus and play the role of jester and cold logic. I guess maybe, that there is a part of me that hasn't yet fully accepted my own broader views. I am still a physical being and there is a small part of me that yearns for validity and connection. I suppose the connection I seek is one philosophical in nature. By that I mean to have someone to have and understand those conversations of wonder. Longing to connect with someone that too, sees more than the view of one's own senses. For someone to meet me where I am at. Though the keyboard and screen offers some reprieve and release, I willingly admit that the expanse of my mind and intuitive processes can be a lonely place. If not for the knowing of my compass, my center, I'd likely have relinquished my self to darker chasms. So, Joy, it would seem, will keep me curious with wonder and compassion. Joy to continually rediscover and redefine my Self. Joy in knowing that somewhere someone may feel the same way, and loneliness is only a construct of my own limitations. Limitations that I, as a creator, can easily dispel.
Whatever the path you happen to
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