Time to wake

No amount of prayers or meditations will undo the destruction our ‘evolved’ species has created in this, our home. That is simply superficial. It merely places a band aid on a bullet wound hiding the true horror that lies behind. It is time for brutally honest reflection. Take responsibility for our indifference and self proposed blindness. In our every incessant need to compete and fill our bottomless gluttony, we are reaping the rewards. Famine, extinction, global warming, wars are all of our own creation. Every time we choose to feed the commercialism, keep busying ourselves with mundane tasks crying that they are so important, we are not bettering ourselves or make belief markets. We are aiding in the imminent death of our world. WE have done this. WE are doing this. Placing blame on government, corporations or other ill designed faculties solves nothing. We use that as the scapegoat to sooth our pathetic egos. Every time we stuff our overpriced purses and unethically produced pockets with superficial trinkets and food like products, because we are deserving, work hard, need something to lift us up…. WE are creating the problem. Each tree that is taken because it is ruining our perfectly poisoned yard and disrupting the esthetics, is the work of social delusion. All of it designed to keep us in a perpetual state of not having enough, not being enough, to keep us in a constant state of trying to fill a deepening well of disconnectedness and division. It takes individuals to make a change. It is solely on the individual to get educated. To wake up. To think about every action or inaction one takes, and their repercussions. WE have the power as individuals. It takes bravery to admit you are part of the problem. It is empowering to know you have the power to change that pattern of blind indifference.

One Earth.

Fear is an Abundant Teacher

 Every now and then I feel stuck. Caught in a whirlpool of inner work where the answers I seek simply seem to elude me. I am stubborn and will often try and work it out on my own, but like with anything, no one does this life alone!
Thankfully I have been blessed with a whole tribe of gifted beings ready to show me what I need when I need it! Though I feel everyone is a teacher, there are always those that are willing to push my standardized view of myself.
I was recently blessed with a lovely healing session with one of these masters of magic! And as I expected, a truth I simply didn't want to see, surfaced.
That's what Energy work does. It brings forth your own shadows so you may work your way beyond, or transcend them. It's bloody scary. I'm not going to lie. To stand on the edge and willingly look at all your own crap, to know that this life, with all it's trials and tribulations, is of your own doing and there is truly no one else to blame....Well that can break a person. Now, whether you choose to be broken or broken open is up to you.
I'll be broken open thank you!
Here's the deal. I Drive My Vessel. Though my legs shake and I am forced to see things within myself that I would rather not see, I am given choice. Choice to hide my head in the sand, continue to place blame or step up to the challenge that I signed up for and hold the hand of Fear. I Drive My Vessel.
You see with every uncomfortable truth there is also opportunity. Opportunity to show myself the love and compassion I willingly give to everyone else.
I often have said, 'How can I expect someone to love and respect me, if I don't love and respect myself.' And with every speck of wisdom comes a lesson, that I too must, learn.
And here I am. Face to face with piece of myself I had not expected to find. Such a deep truth that I really didn't know what to think or feel. Of course the first feeling to arise was disbelief. That shameful piece of me wanted to scream 'bullshit!'. Next stormed in anger, shame, and self loathing. Berating myself, because I should have seen this sooner. How could I have been so blind? Well here's confirmation that I am really not good at anything....Blah blah blah...
Sigh, sniff and tears...
In comes the next wave of introspection.....
'Ah, but you created this. This was your own device for remaining small and hidden. This was your way to keep yourself from shining. If you don't shine, you can't fade.'
Okay... I get it. Now what do I do with it?
I wrap myself in self love. The kind of unconditional love you would show your own child. Held close to my own bosom, my own deep soul, I simply allow myself to love myself. For in this moment, for right now, that is all I need to do. The rest will come later, but for right now, Love.

It is my belief that we are here to experience life in all it's wonderful facets. If I knew it all, what would be the point! I also believe in accountability, even the tough stuff.
So I choose to see this as a chance to grow. To take this gem and revel in all the lessons it holds. To discover how to transcend and rise. To view with honor and love for this unique way of living. Knowing that I chose this life with these lessons is incredibly empowering. I am here to Live and living does not mean perfection. Living is Loving.
Love I will. In that Love I will know that Fear is but an abundant teacher whose hand I'll hold and whose lessons I'll accept with gratitude.

One Earth.

It's all how you Perceive

Stories are weaved into everything that we do. They have ways of molding and shaping us, even defining us. These past events, whether we look at them as positive or negative, can either lift us up or tear us down. We can embrace them as lessons and learn from them, or we can cry them into the abyss of victimization and remain blind to all else.

Everyone has a pivotal story or stories, that have help shape them, or so I thought.
Diving deep into self discovery and growth, I found myself questioning my beliefs and feelings on this.

Why do I fear success?
Why do I fear being noticed for anything?
Why do I feel I am too much?

I knew the story that brought me here, to some degree, but really questioning it led me someplace I was not fully expecting. In this time of really beginning to let my true self come forth I realized a couple of things. One being the events that created the story that kept me small. I then stumbled upon the  view point of the mind that created the feelings that gave the stories power.
 What!?
'The view point of the mind that created the feelings that gave the stories power'.

All this time I had known the stories, the list of events. Boy did I ever know them! What I had failed to correlate was the perception behind them.
You see it is not the events that cause us discomfort or thrill, it is our perception of those events!
As a nine year old how I perceived, or processed the events determined the story, the feelings, the messages. As I grew older the way I would look at things would change, grow and develop as I did, but the 'original' play would remain untouched. Many aspects of my life would unwittingly center around this one piece of time.
Each one of us is gifted with our own unique way of looking at things. We think that it is the stories of our past that creates our vision, but I feel that is not necessarily so.
We come in with our own personalities in this life. These inherent gifts brought forth from lifetimes prior to this one. We see that in our children. It is already encoded, our unique gifts.

For me, it is joy. Always I could see, or it was shown, the lessons, rainbows and gifts each moment could bestow. This was something I allowed to grow as I grew. As a child, though I had my own innate self, I was discovering what would make me tick and how to move with or against it. Nurture or squash it. In actuality I am still learning!
In this state of development I had acquired a very limited view of how to deal with events. As all children are, I was simply a sponge collecting information from outside sources and view points. And I drew my own infant conclusions and went with it.
Now, bestowed with this in my hat, I am able to revisit. Though I have been able to do that without contempt for many years, I can now see how my perception at that time protected and helped me.

Perceptions and view points can be changed and expanded at any given moment. It is a choice. In an effort to grow and become more open, I have done it time and time again. Thoughts from yesterday have changed today when given another piece of information or angle in which to look. Going back though memory allows me to also make a tiny shift in perception and now alter the steps I will make tomorrow. The events don't change, my history doesn't change. How I move forward changes. Another angle sprouts forth and old limiting beliefs diminish expanding my view even more. Energy spent on keeping me reeled in, bursts forth in abundant freedom.
Maybe it is only the view of the eternal Optimist but, once again, my heart, my soul, breathes that much freer in a world continually trying to contain, maintain and define our essence.

One Earth.

Suits of Power

Often we hand over our power to others. Our parents, our friends, society. We hang on to a story largely built on anothers' opinion of us. What we 'should' be doing. Who we 'should' be. Where we 'should' be.
We take these packages without bothering to see where they are coming from. When we feel slighted, belittled, disrespected, we automatically blame the other. In that moment we have willingly handed over the guidance system for our own vessel.
But....We can regain control of our ship! By doing the internal work and asking the hard questions, we can transcend the public transportation we have so expertly ridden.
We often convince ourselves that we don't want to see what we are reflecting. When looking in the mirror, we quickly fall into the line of self judgment. With a little tweaking of perception, we can learn to go beyond that. It then becomes much like having to walk through the spiders web to reach Eden! An adventure sprinkled with fear and bound by bravery! How much do we truly yearn for that space of acceptance, and how bravely can we nurture ourselves to get there?
Like the old saying goes it is representative of the onion. Layers upon layers. The deeper we go, the closer to the core we get.
How do we do this?
We take a moment.
We begin to settle and begin to ask questions.

Why did that make you upset?
It made me feel bad, small and insignificant.
Why did it make you feel small and insignificant?
Because I have always been made to feel that way when I step forward.
Why have you always felt that way?
Any time I would share my thoughts I was always told I didn't know anything.
Why do you think you didn't know anything?
Because that's what everyone told me.
So you feel you don't know anything because 'others' told you so?
Yes.
In your heart did your thoughts make sense to you?
Yes.
So then you have assumed they know your own genius better than you do and you are looking for validation.

At the end of the day, we have taken on the opinions and insecurities of others. We learn to ignore our own heart constantly searching for a place to fit in. We learn to play small and insignificant within ourselves. In turn we turn to the outside to gain recognition for which we can not sustain. Forgetting that our own heart and skin is the only place we need to fit in.
We long for validation and apology from outside forces. Should it arrive, we are still left empty for know one can truly know our individual heart. True understanding, as we imagine it to be, is futile. A sense of commonality at this level lies only in our imagination.
We need to venture one step further to fully take the wheel of our own vessel. It is a surrendering to ourselves. At the core, beyond all training and blind belief, we ourselves feel insignificant and small. We have allowed this to radiate out like a beacon beckoning to prove us right in our own view of ourselves. Due to our own lack of self respect and self love we have unwittingly set ourselves up to receive only that which validates our own lack of self worth.
Cultures all over the world have shown us the importance of the self. Journeying, soul retrievals, meditations, prayer to name a few, are all tools to reconnect to our own divinity. Find and love the unique being you are so we too may see and stand in awe!
It is a lone journey, this life. The journey to the self can carry no company.
As Lady Galadriel says to Frodo, "To bear a ring of power is to be alone."
We all bear a ring of power, only ours comes as a suit. Bearing our suits of power. Alone. A vessel of flesh, blood and bone. No one can truly understand our suit for it has room for only one.
That is where the beauty lies. A gift beyond all measure. Though we are alone in this gift, so is all others upon this Earth. Each one only responsible to wear and care for their own Suits of power as we all travel along a path of our own choosing. It is what we all share. The responsibility of loving and honoring ourselves lies within ourselves. Each of us holds a heart that only speaks to us, in a language that only we can understand. A guidance system only we can truly operate.
That is where the communion lies. All of us individual drops in the ocean of life. Together individually bound by our suits.
Together we make the human experience.
Together life.

One Earth.

Stories in winter.

Every life is fraught with stories. Stories of an existence beyond the memories of the mind.
Some come to me in dreams while others hang on the edge of a formless thought.
All seem lost beneath a blanket of fresh fallen snow. Wisps of a time just beyond my reach, peeking like the last blades of grass rendering for the final breath of light.

There they lie. Absorbed by an ever changing landscape of experiences and speculation.

Most seem unattainable, but all lend qualities we can not yet ascertain to this momentary stop in this our cosmic journey.

The passages of time will continue to fall, and all in it's path will seem forever a formless image, but beneath the qualm that shifts and reshapes like the accumulations of snow dancing in the wind, images will expose but a paltry piece to add to an ever amassing puzzle.

It matters not, these stories painted white on white. For me they are indulgences in which to bind meaning and excitement to a life already permeated with expansion. The inspection, though full of enthrallment and promises of magic, allows for a momentary solace like one would use a puzzle. To gaze searching for the next piece of a work that will never truly be done, but will tantalize me to attempt it's grandeur non the less.

So as my eyes peruse the geometrics of winter descending weightlessly on the breeze, I configure yet another specimen to an already abundant story. Each segment coming to a momentary cessation upon which to discover and speculate what may lie within each spatial branch of an already miraculous essence.


One Earth.